Life can be tricky sometimes. It has moments of joy, happiness, and excitement, but it also has moments of sadness, frustration, and pain. We get to experience day and night, lightness and darkness, and sickness and health.
There is a balance so that we have an opportunity to appreciate and be grateful for the good things that happen.
Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts
Let’s be honest. Our past can haunt us. Our brains can replay painful memories over and over in our minds.
By doing this, our bodies can take on the stress. We could develop anger, depression, anxiety, or shame.
In order for us to regain control of our minds, we must work on gaining the knowledge and the skills so we are prepared when a bad memory resurfaces.
How to Overcome Hurt
We all go through pain, it is inevitable. Suffering, however, is a choice.
Suffering happens when we feel like we had no control over the situation, and what did happen wasn’t what we had imagined for our life.
When we go through this suffering, most of us move into a vicious cycle. We bounce back and forth from sadness, loneliness, and depression to frustration, anger, and resentment.
Generally, that cycle is broken unhealthily by distraction. The distraction is typically something that changes someone’s physiology. This could be a positive physiology shift (ex: working out, running) or negative (ex: drugs, alcohol, sex).
(We are not saying that alcohol and sex are wrong. However, trying to escape problems this way doesn’t make the hurt disappear.)
How to Start Moving on With Your Life
How do we move forward? How do we end our suffering?
The first step to change is wanting to change. If we do not want to move forward, we will not. As simple as this sounds, it is hard work.
Reliving painful memories is not an easy thing to do, which is why a lot of us avoid it. It helps to know that a memory is only a thought that we give meaning to.
When we unfold our thoughts and feelings of the past, we find the freedom in our future.
There are a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to healing. When trying to find the best words to articulate overcoming suffering, we turned to Dr. Gail Brenner.
She wrote an article that explained how telling stories keeps the past lodged in our mind, heart, body, and spirit.
Please Read the Following Insert From Dr. Gail Brenner:
We tell ourselves all sorts of stories that bring trouble to our lives. Want to be trouble-free? Here is the medicine.
- Notice how entranced you can be by the stories of drama and victimhood that appear in your mind.
- Just for a moment, let yourself lose interest in these thought stories.
- See that what is left is a pattern of physical sensations, maybe gripping, tension, or burning. You may never have noticed these sensations before, but they have probably been there for a long time.
- Now notice this: You are aware, and these sensations are appearing in your awareness. They come, go, and change, but here you are: aware.
- Take the perspective of awareness, and the sensations have the freedom to be. They aren’t ignored or suppressed. You aren’t so busy in the story that you don’t notice them.
- Now notice: Are you suffering? No, you are simply experiencing sensation as awareness.
5 Ways to Create Fulfillment
- We create our own lives, and we have the ability to change the story on how we think our lives should look like.
- Understanding that we have the power to change our viewpoint on past situations goes a long way.
- Express Your Pain
- Get it ALL out!
- If you want to truly move into happiness, you will have to feel.
- Write out what you are going through.
- Find someone to talk to.
- Forgive Yourself
- It is possible to not have done anything wrong, yet still blame yourself.
- Decide today that you will stop punishing yourself.
- You don’t deserve to be living in the pain that you have been carrying around.
- Focus on What is Bringing you Joy in the Moment.
- Shifting your focus is extremely powerful.
- Your energy goes where your focus goes.
- Take Positive Action
- If you are reading this and you want to get better, you are already taking the action to change.
- Self-work is extremely important. Seek out the knowledge and continue to learn and develop more understanding for yourself.
Is it Time to Seek Help?
Thank you for your continued support on our blog. Here at the Live in Boldness headquarters, we take mental health very seriously.
*These actions are a step in the right direction, but if you are still struggling, then it may be time to consult a mental health professional. – LIB Team*